Broke

I want to apologize for the time that has passed since posting my last blog. This week has been busy and tiring, meaning less free time and less energy to be on the computer during my free time. However, that also means that a lot has been happening! If I have time the next few days, I will be shooting out a few blogs, so keep an eye out for those.

Last weekend, I had a last-minute opportunity to travel to Uruguay for very cheap! One of the coordinators here had to go there for an official purpose, so we were asked if we wanted to tag along. Although Anna did not want to go, my first thought was, "Heck yeah!" Later, however, I realized that I had not yet incorporated prayer into my decision. When I first started praying, I was pretty quickly overcome with guilt that, as much of a steal it would be to buy the ticket, the money I had in my bank account was not my money to spend. It was the Lord's. I remembered the incredible quote, "The question is not 'How much of my money will I give to God ?'but 'How much of God's money will I keep for myself?" We have to remember that we are all broke servants, investing our Master's money where He tells us to invest it.

I spent the rest of the day thinking about it as we went to our different ministries. I kept asking God for a reason for me to go, a way to glorify Him by going. When I finally let it go and decided that there would be no everlasting result of me going and that I should stay, I had this uneasiness in my heart that I should not stay. There was a retreat our church was doing that Anna and I were asked to sing for, but I felt really uncomfortable doing it because I did not know the songs well enough in Spanish. Even though we would be allowed to sing in English, I felt like I would be distracting others from worshiping. I also realized I would not be missing any ministry if I were to go, and traveling to gain more experience and knowledge of other places for so cheap could help me in future ministries. I felt that God had something to teach me by going on this trip.

I was not positive if it was God's will for me to go, but because I spent so long making my decision, there was a low likelihood of me being able to buy a ticket with the same exact schedule as my traveling companion. I decided to go for it, and if it was God's will for me to go, I would be able to buy the ticket. (I've realized, however, that sometimes, God keeps the door open as a test, and other times, the devil can open doors as temptation or deceit.) On my car ride to the bus station, I prayed "Lord, if there is another place you want to spend this money that is more glorifying to You, please close this door, but if I have any say in it, I would really like to go." I repeated that prayer over and over.

When I got there, I was able to buy the ticket. So I went! Our seats were in the very front of the double-decker, so it was a pretty cool view. The service was very similar to an airline's with dinner, snacks, and drinks served. When we arrived, we spent our whole day simply walking. We walked through a market with vendors sending all kinds of merchandise from fruit and vegetables to hand-made crafts to coins to puppies to reptiles. Just about everything else, however, was closed because it was Sunday. We could not visit any museums of do very much shopping, but we walked through the streets and admired the architecture. We never talked to anyone, gave anyone money, planted any spiritual seeds, or left any sort of lasting impact. So when I got on the bus to head home, I wondered what was God's reason for me going. What was it that He wanted to teach me? Did I go because of blinding selfishness? It was not until I was about five minutes from being home that I experienced the most significant impact...